How to Make Her Feel Loved If You’re Not the ‘Romantic’ Type

How to Make Her Feel Loved If You’re Not the ‘Romantic’ Type

 Is romance the same as love?

On the surface, this seems a slightly foolish question to ask. Google the word ‘romance’ and you will find some variants of the following definitions, which have been taken from Wiktionary, the common man’s dictionary:

1. An intimate relationship between two people; a love affair.
2. A strong obsession or attachment for something or someone.

3. Love which is pure or beautiful.
If ‘romance’ IS a relationship, how can it be anything other than love, which Wiktionary defines as ‘an intense feeling of affection and care towards another person’?

But indulge me for a few seconds here. How many of the following scenarios seem like DEMONSTRATIONS of love, as against real love that does not demand or require proof? How many of these statements would you agree with?

1. When a man takes his date for a candle-light dinner, he is usually bored silly for most of the night even as he struggles to say the right things and appear attentive to her.

2. Men do not consider music to be either romantic or otherwise. It’s either slow music or fast music.

3. Men don’t really understand what constitutes a ‘romantic’ evening. They generally hide this by planning activities that a date would enjoy doing and hope against hope that she thinks it is romantic.

4. Men look at a ‘romantic’ formal black-tie dance as an opportunity for women to dress up and flaunt their best outfits, while they themselves sweat in their stifling dress shirts and uncomfortable blazers. The only redeeming point about any of these events is that men are allowed to ogle openly at random women as long as they compliment the outfit when they’re caught staring.

I have a strong hunch that what most women (not all, mind you) think of as romance is just focused attention and overt manifestations of love, because sometimes men can be too matter-of-fact and unemotional, or maybe just too shy to let their true emotions show.

What do you do if you’re more practical than your flighty date? How can you give her a memorable evening without cringing or feeling like a corny fool?

Tip Number 1: Proximity
You need not put your arm around her if that’s not your style, but just sitting close to her or touching her hair will pass as a romantic gesture for most women.

Tip Number 2: Love ballads
You don’t have to spout poetry or say mushy lines that make you want to cringe inwardly. In a car, play slow songs with lyrics that are meaningful to you (or her). On a bike or when not in a car, hand her headphones and let her listen to a playlist that you composed for her. This works like magic even if you don’t say a word!

Tip Number 3: Wake-up texts
Research has shown that a good morning message from a loved one makes anyone’s day. This text message doesn’t have to be corny; it must simply show her that she’s on your mind. Ask her not to forget to eat breakfast. Remind her to take her medicines. Thank her for the great time you both had the previous evening. If you don’t believe that this will work, check out #whatmakesmyday, which trended on Twitter a few weeks ago. I was as surprised as anyone!

Tip Number 4: Inexpensive surprise gifts
These should not cost more than what you’d pay for a half a dozen fresh roses. The point is to show her that you’re thinking about her, and the element of surprise always works. Thoughtful gifts score higher than inane ones, of course…a keychain with her initials on it, a pen-stand for her desk at work, a personalized mouse pad for her home computer. Stay away from books, clothes, or teddy bears, though; these are both expensive and run-of-the-mill.

Ultimately, romance stresses emotion rather than sensation. It’s the non-lust part of love, which most women associate with flights of fancy and mysterious fascination. At the end of the day, a woman wants to think that you’re into more than just her body. Romance doesn’t have to be either hypocritical or sickly sweet. And women can easily tell real emotion from fake demonstrations, so you don’t have to be what you’re not just to impress her!